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camille
Jun. 10th, 2005
05:37 pm - put it in your pantry
sweating.walking.at least i have good music. sweat some more. shower. smoke. get cat away from fan. dishes. again im sweating. drive. turn up music. sew. tuck in grandma. uncle jack rushing to 'golf' without a shirt. today's friday. phone cuts out. curse the radio. this cd's been played too often.
classes start next week. thank god. maybe my brain will start working again. im thinking about coming home in a few weeks. but kalamazoo still needs visitors.
![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/mely/lemonfaces/dead.gif){kind=small}
drainedApr. 29th, 2005
11:02 am - new library card
3 bums wanted to play 20 questions with me today. the light turned after only 2 however, so 3,4 and 5 were carried out across the street. rose st. to the library, where i got a library card today. but the 3 gentlemen were heading somewhere else, down rose st a little further, and so the questions ended after number 5- "did the fourteenth hole in your ear hurt?" he pierced his ear with a 'carpenter needle' in '62, and the hole is still there. i think i might come this way again tomorrow, to finish 6-20. they are more willing to interview me than any job prospects.
time, i believe, is running out on the parking meter. if anyone feels the need to experience kalamazoo's finest, we have hummus in the fridge and a basil plant on the windowsill.
Apr. 13th, 2005
03:52 pm - keep talking, animal crackers
my drawing abilities have slipped under the bed, i think they are behind my running shoes, but i'm not totally sure.
i've decided that a paragraph counts as a page-word told me so
it feels weird to have a sun burned nose. my toes are still albino.
i wonder if kids still shit all over west acres, oh how i hope so. aquacade just wouldn't be the same with clean facilities.
half of a penguin reminded me that it's time to go. i'd like to know a whole penguin- i think the feet are the best part. i miss the water and my friends.
Mar. 8th, 2005
07:07 pm - i need to finish that quilt.
i left a square at home. or in a plastic bag on a bed rather.
concrete suffocates, it really does. cotton, thats what i need.
pressed and pre-shrunk cotton. those warm tones to stitch around my fingers.
breathable. colorful. hand-made.
and i think i could sleep wrapped up in reds and yellows.
shivering curled next to the heater cramps my neck
and i see each hour pass with less restlessness.
i need to smother this. before it becomes something annual.
Feb. 21st, 2005
02:18 pm - high
from the chlroine. and the spray fixative in the small room. and cierra's into doing nails.
its not an unwelcome feeling though; it matches the grey outside where you cant tell what time or day or month it is. and all of the colors seem flat. oh sure i have work to do, but im in a daze. february is the longest month i've decided. because you can never tell what is going on, it is just one long colorless calendar layout.
![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/mely/lemonfaces/straight.gif){kind=small}
okayFeb. 19th, 2005
08:40 pm - id rather be punched in the face
my tires dont need air and i dont need sleep.
its fast, fast down the highway and into no mans land
just like it said on those pages; some fantastic journey
to find a new world out there. somewhere over the rainbow.
they promise sun. peak on through. i put my plants on the windowsill
just in case they are right. and i wont wear a jacket for a cigarette
itll make summer that much better. thats what they say. but they say
i need sleep. and my tires need air. but its fast. real fast. and i dont believe
a single word they say.
Feb. 5th, 2005
10:16 pm - pornographic lens
the windows keep fogging up for some reason so i'll drive with them down. but not for long because im going to park the car and walk. and walk. this room allows five maybe seven at best steps from corner to corner and tonight i need more than that. i dont care if the pictures turn out like dog shit. i really dont. i'll just walk and forget where i parked my car but the windows keep fogging up anyways.
Jan. 23rd, 2005
06:54 pm - who loves the sun
i had a dream that houston's family was going to see some play that i really wanted to see, so i tagged along. at one point everyone was riding a metro bus, seated with their hands folded in their laps. i kept getting off the bus to walk around, get some 'fresh air'. we finally get to the civic, and his family walks through these grand doors, the inside looks like a casino inspired by pictures of heaven. the guy opening the door stops me and points at my boots, shaking his head.houston's mom said ' i told you so' then walked in with everyone else. so i sit outside, ride the bus a few more times, to wait for the play to end and his family to come back out those same doors. i need a job. not to buy better boots with, just more time.
![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/mely/lemonfaces/yawn.gif){kind=small}
sleepyJan. 17th, 2005
05:46 pm - peppers
there was a rainbow today, in the middle of the sky; no clouds or rain, only a few streaks of sun and i think only a handful of passerbys noticed. i pretended that i was really in alaska, instead of 131 S between kalamazoo and grand rapids, enjoying some miniature version of the northern lights. i was leaning, almost into the passenger seat, so that i could see it around the spot my windshield wipers miss. i was overjoyed when i saw the variety of peppers at quiznos, i just ate a banana pepper like it was a piece of popcorn and then i laughed. i have a remarkable memory when i want to. certain things i wont ever forget; i cant because i dont want to.
Jan. 8th, 2005
02:53 am
dont ever stop taking pictures or tapping the steering wheel to the radio, they're different each time even if the scene isnt. my grandma is receiving a visit from me tomorrow, a quilt and some tea in return. and i hope i am alright at it so i can teach another and another how to keep from the cold and boredom with a habit as timeless as pictures and records.
Dec. 28th, 2004
12:59 am
i saw the full rainbow on the way to work this morning. not just the one half people normally see, but the whole deal. the left side, the right side, the middle between the two. i think i'll go to get coffee before work tomorrow to read the paper, something i havent done in awhile but have been meaning to. i am greatly looking forward to seeing the same older people eat their dry toast with excess jam as they too catch up on what the world deems important. i woke up confused twice today, and i would like to wake up tomorrow to a rainbow staring through the blinds at me with smiling eyes. but im afraid id still be dreaming. it would feel so nice though
Dec. 23rd, 2004
12:23 am - playlists
lets be weeping willows. sway this way and that to the beat of the moon. weep and weep. i've decided that i am nocturnal, and thats alright with me i suppose. the roads belong to the salted malibu and i can turn the music as low as i want. meijer is also pleasantly vacant, allowing you to notice and regocnize all of those tacky trinkets grandma owns. i think sunday will be a snow day. if i am scheduled to work i'll call in sick. and if its sub zero out, i'll go rollerskating instead.
Dec. 17th, 2004
12:00 am - burning nostrils
i am eating wassabe peas and my mouth and nose and eyes are watering while i sit completely awake procrastinating until tomorrow, because i dont have to work. it doesnt feel like christmas, and that is definitely a good thing. i would much rather eat spicy peas than gingerbread or holiday spice muffins. simon & garfunkle beat snow-flaky music, hands down. rollerskating sounds more appealing than decorating a plastic tree and i have decided that i will go to bonnaventure regardless if anyone else does. it would be fun; going around in a circle with the 90's style neon flaring up, then dying down. and fly off the rink onto the carpet, almost falling into those round things that people sit on to tie up their skates because the carpet brings you to such a screeching halt. oh dear i am getting nostalgic. i just hope the ice freezes soon because i have never gone ice fishing and i hear its not half bad.
Nov. 19th, 2004
11:38 pm - try to see it my way
i really like glass beads. i would like to swim around in them sometime, like the old woman swam in noodles in patch adams. what a wonderful instance. and i have a feeling i will have trouble sleeping tonight and as i have no glass beads to string i think i'll work on a collage. it will involve no thought and lots of glue. hopefully my fingers will get stuck together in a permanent a.ok sign.
Nov. 2nd, 2004
11:21 pm - try to set the night on fire
and tonight, with cheeks flushed and nose chilled, i should like very much to cup the moon in my snug mittens and read siddhartha once more by its light. because the stars seem extra brilliant and time is tucked in my back pocket.
Oct. 21st, 2004
12:08 pm - unshowered
i hope i fall on a stick to class today and poke my eyes out so i never have to witness another map or a pair of legs sticking out of a short skirt while i don scarf, gloves, and hat.
train leaves tonight though. thank god.
Oct. 16th, 2004
01:50 am - like a record
you spin me right round baby right round
right round,
round round.
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creativeOct. 12th, 2004
09:15 pm - whats my number
i cannot sleep as i have a large coffee and too many ideas swimming around inside of me.
the walls are still too white, even with the newspaper clippings and calendar pages. what is in a date anyways. oiy veh why did i take german
Aug. 31st, 2004
11:07 am - wear a scarf and a raincoat
because it is cold and rainy and i have a lot of things to do. and a lot of places i wish i could go. i think if i did run away i would bring only my raincoat and my scarf. that is all i would need really. maybe some better walking shoes.
i love my bonsai but i could really go without the screaming outside my window at night-i do not care how many pop tarts or beers you have had; i just want to sleep it off, the coffee that is.
i think for halloween i am going to be a giant terd.
Jul. 18th, 2004
10:48 pm - alphabet
when you were very young i would visit and take you to dinner at bob evans. you didnt talk much but liked to color with the crayons they provided and always ordered the kids breakfast.
it hit me, all at once, making the booth shrink a little bit and coffee instead of crayons stared back at me.
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